I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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