I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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