Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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