Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
