Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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