YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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