In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
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