I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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