saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
