I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
