i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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