he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
