Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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