So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
