Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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