i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
