I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
