please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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