Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
