I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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