I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
