just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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