Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
