Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
