talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
