i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pants are for mortals
I deserve this hangover.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
