Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
