I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
