So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
