Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just google imaged poop.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
