There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
