Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My balls are so social today.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
