They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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