maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
