Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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