then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
