I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
