So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
