I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
