Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
