He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
