yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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