How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
