wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
