I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
