Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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