You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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