like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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