I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
