he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
