So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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