it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
