Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
