I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
