idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have aggressive nipples.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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