Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
